3/06/2017

Advice: To poof or not to poof?

Photographer: Joshua Newton


I had a friend come to me last week asking for advice. She had started going out with this guy who seemed great but while she did like him, he was being to much for her to handle, they fought over the smallest things, and she always felt like she had to over-explain everything to him. So she asked, "Is it okay to poof?".

So to answer this question, let's start with the term "poof". This is a slang term that means to disappear without saying or explaining anything. Obviously, this is a very hurtful thing that leaves the victim in the dark, "Did I do something? Is she mad? Did her phone break? Is she dead?".

Now with this being said, is there really ever a time when disappearing without a word is okay? The simple answer is yes, there can be many reasons that straight up poofing is okay. Such as an abusive relationship, if the partner is someone you don't feel safe around, or if they are legitimately creepy.

To poof in a normal day to day relationship, probably isn't the best approach one should take. Some people take this kind of action for many reasons. They don't know how to break the news so they avoid it altogether, there is a hurtful reason behind the poofing and they don't want to explain in fear of hurting the person, it has worked for them in the past, or maybe they didn't even think you were that close to begin with.

Nevertheless, One should never choose poofing as a way to not hurt someone's feelings, because this will actually hurt more than just telling them it isn't working out. It gives the other person some closure so that their mind isn't wondering all over the blame, which is really the kindest thing you can do under these circumstances.

So in conclusion, "No, it's not okay to poof. Be kind enough to at least tell them you're leaving."

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